Posts tagged Arts of the Written Persuasion

A Brief Plea for Help

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Assuming this missive reaches any out there in the ether known as the interwebz, I humbly submit the following request.

 

Let’s say, hypothetically, that I was taking part in a sort of social experiment.  Said experiment is cheifly populated by writers, and readers, and possibly writers who read, and maybe even readers who write from time to time.  As part of this experiment I am given some amount of “space” to present certain bits of information about myself such as:

  • Favorite Font: Century Gothic
  • Favorite Place to Write: Does this hypothetical place serve coffee?
  • Favorite Place to Read: Anywhere, really, because I often find myself reading even when to do so is seen as rude by others

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I deal best with stress by ignoring it.

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I could write about how just two weeks ago my wife, out of the blue, got offered her dream job in Seattle (we currently live in So. Cal., for those keeping score) and now we are moving next week.  I could go on about how we don’t actually have a place to live in Seattle…with much detail on the two days the wife and I spent their only to see our first choice fall through, and even more detail on how she was in the Pacific Northwest yesterday (flying home today) again, trying to locate a place for us to live.  I could go on about how, as yet, I am unsure about my prospects; re: making money.  Thursday is my last at the current bookmines so…  And then last night, Bella says that she doesn’t want to leave our house where, in her words, “everything is perfect.”
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Skelebunnies and My Next Novel

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Has anyone read Skelebunnies?  And if so, is it as awesome as it sounds?  And if so, how is it possible for anything to be so damn awesome?

And I know that gilgrim is shaking his head as he reads this, no doubt, since Skelebunnies is published by the same good people who published his own Cemeterians, but damnit, I barely pay attention to anything at the best of times.

So, I’m thinking of a novel to write. It has this lost tribe of Egypt who, after the Babylonians invade Jerusalem, take off with the Ark of the Covenant (the first, wooden ark, not the second golden one) to Africa. The tribe eventually interbreeds with the natives and, after a few centuries, the tribe loses track of the Ark, though the story of its escape into Africa remains a part of the tribe’s history. Then, in modern times, a British archeologist who has been searching for the Ark is able (based on the tribe’s story and DNA evidence that suggests they are descended from the Israelites) to track down the wooden ark to a museum in Africa. But after he publishes his find (to international acclaim) the ark disappears. He then embarks on a quest to re-discover the ark, only to realize that an African warlord has stolen the ark and plans to use its power (plus a stock pile of nuclear weaponry) to declare war on the world.

So most of that…except for the stuff about “nuclear weapons” and “declaring war on the world” is all pretty much true

You know what they say about truth and fiction, right? Well, that’s a best seller ripe for the taking.

Muse — Muscle Museum

The Future Wave of Publishing is….wait for it…FREE F’ING BOOKS!

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Remember when you could download the (most awesome) Neil Gaiman novel American Gods for free (it’s mentioned in there somewhere)?

Well, that was just a single book, from a single author, for a finite period of time. Another publisher, however, has taken it to the next level.

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I Have “Free” Time…Weird

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So last Friday I was informed by my students that spring break was this week. And it’s a good thing to otherwise I would have shown up on campus Monday. The problem, though, is that since I didn’t realize I wouldn’t be teaching this week my bookmines schedule remains the same, and I have a bunch of free hours this morning.

I should be grading these papers sitting here in front of me, but I’m typing this, and then I’ll probably work on a short story, and then I’m going to a used book store to sell/trade in some books left over from the garage sale.

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Bookishness is in my blood…god help me

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I mean, I have a master’s in English, an MFA in creative writing, teach writing and I work in a bookstore. You all (all six of you) know this. Everyday, though, I am starting to become ever more concerned about the state of publishing/books/literacy in this country.

Remember the HarperCollins is just Harper’s thing from last week? Well, I currently (stupidly) hold a “supervisory” style position at the bookmines and everything I keep hearing from further up the chain is…what’s bleaker than bleak? My particular bookmine is actually not doing too badly, but my bookmine is also at one of the most affluent malls in north america. Even when the other 99.9999999 percent of the country has no extra money OC asshats driving BMW’s will still drop money at my mall. Now that’s good for me personally because it means I keep getting checks from bookmines inc., but in general the company is expecting things to get a lot worse. What’s bad for us, the humble bookminers, is even worse for the publishing companies because we also sell other shit that isn’t books. Hell, our “stationary” division is one of the most profitable parts of our business.

So I’m idly waiting for the inevitable implosion of the NY publishing industry when I happen upon this (thanks mojo), which I’ll now share the most important (I think) excerpt of:

If King, Dan Brown, JK Rowling and Patricia Cornwell were all to decide to move to selling their books online themselves, rather than going through a publisher, they’d certainly benefit financially. Typically, an author only receives about £1 for every copy of their book sold. Rather than relying on a publisher, big-name authors could afford to simply employ an editor, a PR person, a typesetter and a designer. They could price their books at only £2 or £3 and still make much more money than under the current system.

But without the revenue from these authors underpinning the publishers, the current system would be unworkable. And what would happen then? It’s hard to know. Clearly publishing houses would have to become much smaller, and authors who aren’t international bestsellers wouldn’t be able to benefit from the useful upfront advances. It would be harder to keep writing as a midlist author if you didn’t have a private income. People would still want to seek out great new writers, and so the brands of well-known publishers would still be valuable, enabling readers to sort the wheat from the chaff. But Penguin, Harper Collins and Random House could just become badges on ebook aggregator channels rather than the book-production engines they are today.

In a lot of ways, I would like to see the major houses crumble. If stroll through the “Fiction” section of any bookstore you find (there are exceptions, of course) a lot of novels that sound alike, look alike, and are written alike. Say what you want about music labels stifling the evolution of music (indie labels/bands have been making and selling music for decades) it is WAY harder for a small publishing house to sustain itself. God help you if you are an author with even wisps of non-traditionality in your writing (again, there are always exceptions). In my mind, I see the crumbling of the NY publishing houses as a way of freeing writers, both artistically and logistically. Maybe it would be harder to make money as writer if Stephen King were to self publish, but last I checked it’s nearly fucking impossible to make money at it while he isn’t self publishing so from where I stand it’s no different.

One thing it would definitely change, though, is book retail. If the larger houses no longer accounted for a majority of fiction sales in this country (if all the major writers followed the above formula) then retailers (if there were any left) would be more free to stock their stores as they saw fit. Either that or every non-used book store in the country would just fold up as well.

Anyway…

On a slightly related matter, click this link and vote for Knights of the Cornerstone for Best Fantasy Novel. Even if you haven’t read it!

Kate Nash — We Get On

Reports of my demise have been…slightly…exaggerated.

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So it has been a month since the renewal of the gregorian calendar we affectionately know as “the new year” and there has been little to no activity on the ol’ NR. I am, in theory, less busy now than when I was still in school. I’m only teaching one class this semester and I don’t have any of my own to attend.

For those that haven’t had an infant in the house…how should I put this…it’s annoying.

Look, I love my son, but at six weeks old he’s still not sleeping more than 3 hours at a time, and somehow he came down with a virus which he’s had for a few weeks now (immune systems being new and all the colds linger in the youngins) which means that half the time, he won’t sleep…check that, even stop screaming, unless he’s being held. At six weeks old he can’t be manipulative so the screaming is for realz, yo!

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