So this last weekend, in a fit of boredom, a friend and I decided that it would be fun to go see a movie. He went to see “G.I. Joe” the night before so that was ruled out and, let’s face it, two guys are not going to go see the other major release of the weekend “Julie and Julia” so we chose instead to go see the new Rogue Pictures thriller, “A Perfect Get Away.” Unfortunately, the film is a far cry from its title. I went into the movie thinking “hey this could be fun.” I was wrong.

The actors in the movie are a veritable whose who of B and C listers and I’ll give you some other films they’ve all been in that were actually good. The First couple that we are introduced to is comprised of Steve Zahn (“That Thing You Do”, “Happy Texas”) and Milla Jovovich (“Zoolander”, “The Fifth Element”). These two play Cliff and Cydney, a newlywed couple out in Hawaii for a honeymoon. During their time in the islands they encounter Chris Hemsworth (Star Trek) and Marley Shelton’s (“Planet Terror”, “Sugar and Spice”) Kale and Cleo, a very off putting couple who may very well be the killers who have been hopping from island to island (by the way Hemsworth is almost unrecognizable in this film and huge, likely bulking up for his role in the upcoming Thor). The last couple is Timothy Olyphant (“Go”, “Catch and Release”) and Kiele Sanchez’s (? I haven’t seen anything she has been in), Nick and Gina, also possible killers. The actors do their very best and are the only real reason to see this flick. They are all, quite simpl,y great at what they do and deserve every bit of work that they get.
The problem with the film really lies in the script. For me there was absolutely no suspense whatsoever. We watch the characters as they move across Hawaii, their destination a secluded beach, in scene after scene of boring attempts to startle. Kale is an enraged ex Military man with a history who seems to be stalking Zahn. Nick has a collapsed bow and arrow set which he uses to hunt goat and people alike. Cydney almost falls to her doom only to be saved by Nick, it just goes on and on. From about ten minutes into the film I knew exactly who the killers were, I knew how it was all going to play out and I knew who would survive and who would meet his or her untimely end. The movie suffers from being a thriller with no thrills. I enjoy camp, as you can tell from my previous posts, (and even some of my above suggestions) but, if you are going to be campy commit to it…and if you are going to be scary, be really scary.
There are more Red Herrings in this movie than anything I have seen in a while and, yet, none of them pulled me away from the truth.

SPOILER ALERT Chris Hemsworth character is too crazy to be the killer and Tim Olyphant makes mention of a Red Herring meaning that it can’t possibly be him. The speech patterns of Zahn and Jovovich give them away. Too much of their dialogue has double meanings. END SPOILER.
In the end just don’t waste your time and your money.  Save your cash to see “Inglorious Basterds” or simply eat it to provide yourself with some sustenance.

1/5 - Basic shite.