I’m not as up on the Book of Revelations, or the prophecies of Nostradamus, as I might be. But I am fairly convinced that if a website I have any part in creating is getting any type of sustained traffic, then surely blood will soon rain down from the heavens.

Gilgrim sent along this (terrifying?) image….

That’s motherfucking VG CATS, underneath Normality Restored. That just doesn’t make any god damn sense! That’s like, a for real and shit webcomic. And it’s a good one too!

Who are all you people reading this? I don’t mean that in a, who are you, go away type of thing. I mean, who are you and how did you find out about this? Seriously, I’m confused and frightened. Also, grateful, don’t get me wrong. My earlier post about making a million dollars notwithstanding, I did not really believe we would get much traffic here.

It’s pretty awesome…at least for me. I mean, I know gilgrim is psyched as well, but he actually has fans already. I mean, he goes to comic con and he’s on the sit down side of a booth. But this is the first time I’ve had anyone (other than friends who are forced) actually reading stuff that I’ve written.

So thanks to you nameless internets browsers! Hopefully you’ve enjoyed what we’ve done so far, and hopefully it’ll only get better as time goes by. Also, please feel free to comment on stuff…I know I bitched about having to moderate comments (and I don’t, actually have internet access at home right now…I know, I have a web comic and no internet, I’m lame what can I say) but the idea of actually having people interacting on this thing is so exciting that my default setting of “Lazy” may no longer apply…just be patient as the moderating might come slow because of the whole no internet at home thing.

Thanks for reading,

With last weekend marking the beginning of the Premiership season in jolly ol’ England I have become, as you might imagine, a bit addled by what I lovingly refer to as “Red Fever.”

What’s that?

You have no idea what I’m talking about?

Well then, let me broaden your world view.

I am, I will freely admit, a geek in the truest sense. No one with as much knowledge of the Warhammer Fantasy world as me can claim otherwise. But I am also a rabid football (that’s proper football, you know, the kind where you kick a ball with your feet) fan having played it in some form or other for most of my life. And this past weekend opened up the new season in England with my beloved Liverpool (look at the icon on the bottom) taking a 2-1 victory away at Aston Villa.

No doubt you American readers are wondering why I would root for a team thousands of miles from me when the Galaxy play 50 miles from where I live…well, you obviously haven’t watched much MLS. It’s kinda like watching a really good Elvis impersonator. He might entertain you for a bit, but after a while you realize it’s just not as good as the real thing.

So, anyway, I’m going to be in football heaven for the next eight months, provided Liverpool can grab some hardware this term, since we was robbed in Athens last May.

But the season has started well thanks to one Steven Gerrard and a free-kick worthy of the ages. Behold and bow in wonder at his awesomeness….

Of course, we do have someone over here in the states that can play a bit…now that his ankle is better…

…in honor of the excitement, and regardless of the fact that Kilian’s club is half a match up on me (we tied in our opener, where as the ‘pool won their’s), I figured I would whip up a little something to sum up my feelings about futbol, the season, and Manchester VS Liverpool… here it is:

^__^ the gauntlet is thrown. We have many months to wait still, but the beginning she has arrived.

The announcement is out, and will be repeated over several blogs and other digital means of communication that I seem otherwise tethered to currently. But let it be known, here, now, and on this most stupendous of digital arenas known as Normality Restored, that I, Aleister D D Gilgrim and April December will be bringing forth a new life into this world. it has been said before that should I ever reproduce in any way other than cloning, that it would undoubtedly be a sign of the end times themselves. It has come to pass, as Revelations showed us that it would, I suggest that you all prepare yourselves for the changes that will come.

The date of the beginning of the cultural, and necessary apocalypse, wherein this new being will usher in a profound and needed change to this world is scheduled for the fourth month of the year of 2008. Offered sacrifice, and tribute can be made any time prior to that time, or in the immediate aftermath of the child’s arrival. Prepare yourselves now, puny humans, the dawning of a new age is upon us all! Prepare to kneel!

–Aleister (Father of the coming cataclysm)

That is one seriously PIMP stroller!

Herein, I will impart some of my vast knowledge of all things “father” to the soon-to-be initiated Gilgrim.

1. There are bad times….you might be scared about the prospect of being responsible for the health and well being of another, but you are also, likely, a glow with anticipation on the impending love/care/general good times to be given and had with your offspring. But let me tell you that it is not all sun and roses. The first few months, especially, will feel like no hell you have ever imagined. Your pre-child self can not adequately comprehend the ferocity by which the beast known as “sleep deprivation” will take hold of your scrotum and squeeze. It gets better, too be sure, once the kid figures out that she doesn’t need to eat ever three hours. And maybe you’ll get lucky…perhaps it will only be two months before your offspring begins to slumber on through the night…but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.

2. But the good times more than make up for it….this is the stick/carrot approach. Yeah, sometimes it sucks being a parent. Say goodbye to sleeping in, going out, caring about your appearance, having money, not being worried all the time, not caring about what school district you live in, and a whole host of other shit. But the first time you see that little bean shaped humanoid smile, or hear her laugh, trust me when I say that other stuff doesn’t matter.

3. Your priorities will change….maybe there are parents out there whose pre-child and post-child lives are similar, but I would think that those are squarely classed in the “bad” parent category. You’ll start to notice how much sugar is in everything you eat, crime rates start mattering, as does air quality. Basically, you’ll become much more aware of the world and how said world will impact your child.

4. Messiness becomes a way of life….it doesn’t matter how clean you are, you get used to salive/spit up/vomit/urine/feces getting on your hands, skin, clothes, furniture, in your mouth (don’t ask). For some reason, babies conjure up an image of cherubic perfection with rosey cheeks, clear complexions, perfect hair and smelling faintly of honey. The truth is, babies smell foul a lot of the time. Get used to it.

5. People won’t shut the fuck up….I don’t know why, but when people (even complete strangers) see you with an infant they will take it as an excuse to give you parenting “tips” whether you want them or not. In fact, I’m doing it right now! I’m such an ass. But the fact of the matter is, no one can tell you how to raise your kid, period.

And on that note, I’ll step off my box and simply say congratulations. You should get some sleep now before it’s too late.

I was meaning to do this last week, but many things got in the way. A new strip will be coming this Friday, but in the meantime, it’s time for a bit of “catch-up.” So here are the current, NormalityRestoredHooliganFutbolLeague standings, according to the official NRHFL scorecard…

currently, ManU (my club) is behind, but not as badly as it could be compared to the current record for Kilian’s club… luckily, this is still early in the season. Time will tell, time will tell. Until then, back to work!… *sigh*

–Aleister

So, today, we had something of a slight scare regarding the heir to the mighty Giglrim fortune. Luckily, the crisis was averted and it seems that everything is natural, well and the way it should be ^__^ So yay! In fact April and I were able to get a Ultrasound of our whee one a little bit earlier than was initially planned. So here it is, for those what wish to see
the next step in human evolution.

The Gilgrim family baby

April and I have been watching the box set DVDs of Heroes, so needless to say, it is April’s understanding that the baby will have some sort of ‘special ability.’ Currently, the debate is exactly what that special ability will be… any thoughts?

Right now, what we do know about the baby is that it is healthy, jumps like a jumping-bean (we saw it, trust me!), has no immediately discernible siblings, and is too young for us to tell the sex.

–Aleister

Happy and proud papa of an under 4cm life form