So, yesterday being Monday, I was supposed to put up a new post. But that, obviously, did not happen.

After three straight nights of interrupted sleep, my daughter was in no mood to go to bed. And here’s the thing about small children and sleep. When you have, say hypothecially a 14 month old daughter, the more tired said daughter is the worse she sleeps at night. Seems odd, but when a kid doesn’t get in a good nap during the day, especially after a few nights of not sleeping well to begin with, that kid turns into a screaming machine right about bedtime. Because she was so overly tired she couldn’t get relaxed enough to actually fall asleep. So the wife and I had to resort to laying down with her in our bed. When she’s really upset, it’s the only thing that really works. The upshot of this, though, was that my wife and I both fell asleep before 8 PM.

Let me point out that my wife was still in her work clothes (I, luckily, was at least in pajama bottoms, as I had gotten in the bath with my daughter in an attempt to calm her down, which did not, in fact, work), the downstairs TV was on, and our dinner was still sitting out on the stove. I woke up sometime around 11, groggily carried the kid to her crib, shoved the food in the fridge, and shut off the TV before lying back down.

Needless to say, no “blogging” was even considered.

So now that you’re all bored to tears with the minutae of my home life, here’s what I was meaning to post….

Saturday morning, during my self-inforced punishment at the bookmines (read: working my second job) I came across the following album cover…

My initial response was, “What the hell is this?!” to which a co-worker responded, “I don’t know.”

Unpreturbed by this lack of information I took said album (which just happened to be a promo) into the back to give it a listen. It took almost a full 15 seconds before I became totally obsessed with The Pipettes. I was soon informed that, besides being too cute for words, and producing a heavily addictive brand of retro-doo wop, the three girls in question are also English.

Good GOD! It’s like one of my greatest fantasies come true.

If I weren’t married and had a kid, I would totally start stalking these chicks TODAY!

But, as I can only stalk so many people at any one time, I’ll just share the Pipettes love with everyone….

As any faithful reader should know, Gilgrim and April are “expecting” in the biblical sense.

So as the fateful day approaches, I thought it wise to regail the happy couple (and, by default, anyone reading this) with a bit of wisdom gained from 14 months of parenthood. And that bit of wisdom:

Parenthood ages you like nobody’s business!

On Thursday, I was having a rousing e-mail discussion with Mojo of Poor Mojo’s “various sundrys” about the ridiculousness of housing, particularly in the Golden State when said Mojo ended one of his replies with “tyvm.”

Now I was never up on the netspeak, but I could usually figure out crap like that, back in the day, say a year and a half ago, when I still felt some “connection” to the kids.

But that “tyvm” was so totally perplexing to me that I had to have Mojo translate. That’s how sadly out of touch I am.

Then came the weekend. MTV was playing a “So You Think You Can Dance” season 2 marathon all day Saturday and Sunday. Now I didn’t watch every single minute of the thing, but I certainly watched a lot more of it than, say, is healthy.

One minute to digress….let it be emphatically said that I do not, nor does my wife, or anyone even remotely connected to my house, watch Dancing with the Stars. The difference between the two shows might seem negligible to some. But one has B and C level celebrities with no appreciable appititude to dance or any dance related activity barely scraping through routines set to horribly contrived “renditions” of terrible songs that should in know way ever be accompanied by choreography. The other has actual, skilled DANCERS, performing actual DANCING, choreographed by good choreographers and accompanied by appropriate music. Can you guess which is which? Now, you may not appreciate dance, as is certainly your right. But my wife danced for 15 years, and it’s something that is taken seriously in our house (though, maybe not as seriously as, say, baseball or Premier League Football).

Do I think it is possible I would have watched so much “So You Think You Can Dance?” before I had a kid….well, I suppose anything is possible. But it certainly would have been highly improbable. Now….? The evidence speaks for itself.

So, be wary innocent expecting couple. You will find many changes occurring in your lives soon. Not all of them will sit well with the image you have of your former self.

Is it just me, or does it seems like there is a new lead paint related recall about every third day. Having a toddler, toddling around, really puts things like lead paint in perspective. And by that I mean, I pay attention to things like lead paint recalls now. I once lived in an apartment that had asbestos in the ceiling. Upon moving in I was told that, as long as I didn’t try to actually dig into the ceiling, I’d be fine. And you know what? It didn’t phase me in the slightest. I doubt that would be my reaction today. More likely, I’d make call into a HAZMAT team…

So, after the first batch of recalls the wife and I dug through all of our daughter’s toys and were relieved to find that we owned none of the offending implements of childhood pleasure.

Not too long after that, though, we saw a report on the news regarding some plastic bibs. It wasn’t an actual recall. A consumer advocacy group had run some tests on a series of bibs and found they had very high levels (versus the standard set by the federal government) of lead. And wouldn’t you know it, we had one of those bibs. In fact, we put it on our daughter every night for dinner.

It certainly would have been poetic, or ironic depending on your point of view, if she had been wearing the bib as we watched the news report. That didn’t happen. But when I one day include that little slice of our family life in a book, that’s how it will play out.

Of course, it won’t be elevated lead levels that’s the problem with the bib…it’ll be something like the bibs are all possessed by some nefarious spirits from the dark nether regions.

I just noticed this link in the backend of our NR site (where we check secret-y numbers and alchemical prophecies to attempt to gleam why you’re reading our garbage) when i noticed this link from the Trickster Online Revolution fansite, Mytrickster:

For Die Hard Gilgrim Fans

In answer to the Tricksters who’ve been posting on this thread, wow O_O and thank you! In answer to at least one poster, yeah if I wasn’t reading MyTrix before, I probably will now… because, like the title says, I am a whore for good attention.

Carry on, as you were,

–Aleister

Aesop Rock - None Shall Pass

Here is your incredible and overflowing dose of cuteness featuring our son Salem Ezra Grey, the ever-lovely miss APrilhead, and my ever- ragged-self. Thanks also to all of the lovely Tricksters who have been chatting it up and giving their congrats on the MyTrix Forums! ♥

Ok, see you all on Monday! Take care!

–Aleister

Blaqk Audio - Stiff Kittens