With last weekend marking the beginning of the Premiership season in jolly ol’ England I have become, as you might imagine, a bit addled by what I lovingly refer to as “Red Fever.”

What’s that?

You have no idea what I’m talking about?

Well then, let me broaden your world view.

I am, I will freely admit, a geek in the truest sense. No one with as much knowledge of the Warhammer Fantasy world as me can claim otherwise. But I am also a rabid football (that’s proper football, you know, the kind where you kick a ball with your feet) fan having played it in some form or other for most of my life. And this past weekend opened up the new season in England with my beloved Liverpool (look at the icon on the bottom) taking a 2-1 victory away at Aston Villa.

No doubt you American readers are wondering why I would root for a team thousands of miles from me when the Galaxy play 50 miles from where I live…well, you obviously haven’t watched much MLS. It’s kinda like watching a really good Elvis impersonator. He might entertain you for a bit, but after a while you realize it’s just not as good as the real thing.

So, anyway, I’m going to be in football heaven for the next eight months, provided Liverpool can grab some hardware this term, since we was robbed in Athens last May.

But the season has started well thanks to one Steven Gerrard and a free-kick worthy of the ages. Behold and bow in wonder at his awesomeness….

Of course, we do have someone over here in the states that can play a bit…now that his ankle is better…

…in honor of the excitement, and regardless of the fact that Kilian’s club is half a match up on me (we tied in our opener, where as the ‘pool won their’s), I figured I would whip up a little something to sum up my feelings about futbol, the season, and Manchester VS Liverpool… here it is:

^__^ the gauntlet is thrown. We have many months to wait still, but the beginning she has arrived.

Current England Manager (and former head of Middlesbrough) has always seemed a nice enough guy to me. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever actually had a conversation with him, or even been, say, in the same city as him. But I’ve always gotten this sorta, I don’t know, fatherly vibe from the guy.

But that feeling of general good will I once had toward McClaren has long since evaporated. And after yesterday, well, if I am ever in the same room as him I swear to god I’m going to take a crowbar to his knee.

Playing a Euro qualifier in the cold wastes know, colloquially, as Russia, the Three Lions needed a win to, basically, secure a spot in the finals next summer.

And everything looked good as Wayne Rooney put in a goal just under the 30 minute mark.

Now, I can’t be sure, because I was getting minute by minute text updates off the UEFA website, but it sure seems to me like McClaren, or the whole of the England squad, really thought that one goal was all they would need.

Judging by the scare stats info that UEFA was providing, Russia had much more control of the ball and many more shots on goal for most of the game. Even still, England held the 1-0 lead until the 69th minute. Then, in the span of 5 minutes, Russian sub Pavluchenko puts in 2 goals! Now, the first was a PK from, what appears to have been, a bit of a dubious call, but that still doesn’t explain the second goal.

In an obvious move of desperation, McClaren brought on all three subs in the span of a minute (and, seriously, can’t it just be decided to leave Lampard out all together) in an attempt to steal a late equalizer, which, of course, did not happen.

Now some may blame Gerrard for missing a seemingly sure goal early in the second half, but the stats (and granted, I haven’t actually watched the match yet) suggest that either the game plan was flawed (which would be on McClaren’s shoulders) or its execution was flawed (which, in many ways, would also be on McClaren’s shoulders).

Now football (yeah, that’s right, FOOTBALL) is a terribly unpredictable sport. Current European champions Greece are a testament to that. But since McClaren has taken over the England squad has been absolutely atrocious in away matches. And I realize that John Terry was out. But here’s an idea, instead of trotting out the few battered remains of what used to be Sol Campbell, why not bring in Jaime Carragher. I’m still at a loss at to why he hasn’t gotten more national team caps over the last three years considering he’s been the most (or second most, depending on who you ask) consistent defender in the Premier League over that span.

Now England have to hope that Israel beats Russia. It’s certainly a possibility, though a fairly remote one. If Russia win that match, then England will not participate in Euro 08.

I’ve been…quiet…of late in regards to the ongoing football season. After a brilliant start, my beloved Reds have faltered a bit. They are still unbeaten in the Premier League, and their away form has been excellent. But they’ve only claimed one victory in 5 matches at home (which is something out of bizarro world, honestly). Even worse has been their form in the Champions League. I expected them to get at least 4 victories (and two draws) out of the six group stage matches, but after losses to both Marseille and Besiktas (seriously, Besiktas, I’m not even making that shit up) Liverpool was looking like they might have an early exit out of a competition that they’ve played in the final of 2 of the last 3 years.

And then came Tuesday’s match, at Anfield…

That, friends, is a new Champion’s League record for goal difference in a single game. Now I didn’t see the whole game, it being on at 11:45 AM in California (I do have a job, after all). But from all the highlights I’ve seen, I’d say that is probably one of the best total team performances I’ve ever seen. The Besiktas defenders looked absolutely lost, and there always seemed to be at least two Reds open at any given moment. Not too mention that Liverpool’s passing was, across the board, cleaner than at any other time this season, and you can see why the game ended the way it did. It’s also interesting that so many of those goals came off rebounds. The keeper did a good job on stopping a lot of first shots, but they were so well placed that he couldn’t catch the ball or deflect it enough for a clearance and there was, invariably, an unmarked Red set to pounce on the rebound.Hopefully the lads can parlay this victory into a good run of form in the league and climb back up that table…

Well, today saw the England national squad, playing in front of 90,000 at the new Wembley, fall 3-2 to Crotia. And thanks in part to Russia securing a 1-0 victory over a hapless Andorra, the Three Lions will now miss out on Euro 08.

I’ve previously stated on these very pages that Steve McClaren must be secretly plotting against me. But now, not only has he pissed me off, but he’s no doubt earned the ire of an entire nation. And not just any nation, but the one that invented hooliganism. So, you best run for cover Stevie, cause I’d put 20 bucks on you getting beaten with a lead pipe by an unnamed assailant in the very near future.

Sure, Sven wasn’t exactly great, but at least he got the boys into the tournaments before leading them to a total collapse…

For a major metropolitan area, San Francisco is quaint in a lot of ways. One such way is the fact that it is very difficult to find food after the bars close. I’ve only been to New York once, but Manhattan seemed to have no problems delivering mediocre quality food to me during the wee hours of the morning. But if you’re drinking in, say, the Sunset and you want something to eat at 3 am, you might have to trek your ass over to the god-damn Marina just to get some Jack in the Box.

North Beach, however, has long been a bastion of multiple late night eateries that specialize in pizza. North Beach is also a bastion of pretentious literary landmarks, strip clubs, and ridiculously crowded breakfast places, but I digress…

So now The City is apparently considering a proposal to force all business, including the pizza places along Broadway, to close at 2 am.

So there was this one weekend when the wife (then, the girlfriend) was out of town for work. It just so happened that one of the guys from my soccer team was also “off-duty” as he called it, because his girl was back in Texas visiting her family.

So, of course, it was decided that we were going to get drunk. Steve came over and we went to get dinner at The Sausage Factory (and don’t bother pointing out the ridiculous irony that there is a restaurant called “The Sausage Factory” in the heart of the Castro…) before heading off to North Beach to meet up with some of the other guys from our team.

I think I had a beer with our meal.

I know that when we got to the first bar, I had two (more?) beers. This first place was pretty nice, but located in an alley, for some reason. We didn’t stay there long and headed off to another bar a few doors down. Once here, Steve says something like, let’s do shots. I’m pretty sure I convinced him to do a round of Jaegermeister, because that’s one of the few hard alcohols I can tolerate in shot form. So at this point I’m pretty buzzed and Steve says let’s do another shot, but something different than Jaeger. I was probably open to suggestion at this point because I only half-heartedly opposed, even when Steve ordered Wild Turkey…

And the next morning I woke up somewhere that I didn’t know…

Luckily, it turned out to be Steve’s apartment. My recollections of a majority of that night are so insubstantial that the term hazy would be a gross exaggeration.

I know at one point I had my arms around one of my teammates and was saying something like, “I love this team!”

I was told, though I don’t remember, that I threw up in the middle of a crowd outside a pizzeria at 2:30 am.

So what I’m asking is, if San Francisco shuts down the North Beach pizzerias at 2 am, what will drunken amateur footballers do with themselves when they are so drunk that they can’t stand on their own accord?