This Week in Normality — Our Childhoods, Raped and Otherwise

When I was in kindergarten (and Jezmon can verify this, by the way) my teacher (Mrs. Stevens) called me “Duke” because I insisted she do so (and she continued to until jr. high). Duke, of course, was my favorite character from GI Joe. To say that, as a young lad, I was liked GI Joe would be like saying “yeah, the universe is big.”

It might be a true statement, but it misses the point entirely.

I’m grown up now, of course, and I wasn’t anticipating a film incarnation of the Joes as much as I once did, say, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but I was still excited about it…

Until I saw the trailer…and the accelerator suits.

It didn’t dawn on me at the time but, don’t the Joes, in their accelerator suits, remind you of Megaman?  Seriously, did no one realize that one of the things that was so great about the Joes is that they ALL LOOKED DIFFERENT?  They might as well be fucking clone warriors in those fucking suits.  Seriously, why are they even calling this a GI Joe movie?

I full expect that Dr. Wily will be part of the Cobra team if (gods please no!) a sequel is made.  It seems that, just as hollywood has decided to co-opt the comics world for its ravenous appetite, there really are no sacrosanct memories from our formative years.

This week, dear readers, Normality Restored presents to you:

A consideration of how the Wheel of Time will end, by Stoker.

Tengu takes a low priced trip down PC Gaming Nostalgia Way…and you can too!

Jezmon discusses recent uses of robots in Clone Wars and the latest film in the Transformers franchise.

Mustardseed recounts for us a tale from his formative years.

And I present to you the most formative text of my pre-teen years and ask that all filmmakers leave it the hell alone.

We hope you enjoy this, Our Childhoods, Raped and Otherwise, edition of Normality Restored.