Hey there faithful Normalinauts. Remember when I mentioned possible changes to the site? I did, I swear. Anyway, we’ve decided to embark upon a great collective experiment whereby people not named Gilgrim and Kilian review crap and said reviews show up on the ol’ NR. Normally, I’ll just throw them up when I get them, but I thought a bit of preface was in order this first go round.

So, Tengu has graciously reviewed the new GI Joe comics for you all (say it with me …thank you Tengu!) and I give you said review now…

“…and knowing is half the battle.”

Hello everyone! Your friendly-neighborhood Tengu reporting! I was recently given the green light to provide NR with some “word booty” (as Gilgrim calls it) as a guest columnist. Provided this article passes muster with the ruling high council and actually sees the light of day (and not get me banned from the site), I’m hoping to periodically review things that would fall in the realm of “nerd culture.” I.E. comics, roleplaying/wargaming and the occasional tech toys.

For the flagship article, I thought it suitable to discuss a franchise dear to my childhood: G.I. Joe. Back in January, IDW Publishing re-launched the G.I. Joe franchise with not one but three titles! The first, just titled, “G.I. Joe” brought me back to the days of being a kid. I would set-up my small force of figures and have them duke it out with my Star Wars villains to see who would come out on top. (Vader was always a cheating bastard since he had the lightsaber and force choke ability.)

The first couple issues of the new comic start off on the slow side. COBRA is just a rumor and General Hawk acts like a Green Beret that’s off his rocker. His paranoia drives him to assemble a covert strike team just for the hell of it. Duke and Scarlett have an already established history that brings friction to the workplace (I think Duke told her to call him on Tuesday and didn’t return the call, then used the lame excuse that he was having problems with his voicemail which she totally saw through…) which will continue to be developed. Snake Eyes however, is still a “Bad Ass Mutha.”

The second title in the re-launch is “G.I. Joe Origins.” Which is just IDW’s way of separating me from more of my money. Remember the limited information printed on the back of the action figures? Well, who doesn’t want to know more background info on their favorite G.I. Joe? But honestly, if they didn’t want to tell me Snake Eyes’ background they should have covered the whole back of the box in the word “Classified” and left it at that instead of all the stupid hints at him being the ultimate nin-jo (ninja-commando for the uninitiated). Since they’ve only put out two issues of this, I’m going to reserve my final verdict until issue five.

IDW’s last title is the aptly named, “G.I. Joe/COBRA” which focuses on one Joe’s mission to actually infiltrate the COBRA organization. Who is this Joe that’s 2/3rd’s James Bond and 1/3rd Michael Westen? None other than the Joe codenamed, “Chuckles.” Who’s that you ask? The only G.I. Joe action figure that was dressed in a frickin’ hawaiian shirt! Despite my reservations with the main character’s clothing choices, out of the three titles I’m really enjoying this last one. The suspense element of the book is strong. Will Chuckles be discovered and if so, how much waterboarding are they actually going to do to him? Will he end up so deep undercover that the organization actually corrupts him? How is a guy dressed like that able to bump uglies with his hot handler?

The art and coloring for all three is what I’m really enjoying. Unlike some recent comic art, (“Angel, After the Fall” comes to mind) I know immediately which character is in the panel without any guess work. Visually, I am able to immerse myself to the point that I sometimes feel I’m watching a cartoon episode and not reading a comic book. In the end, I would have to say that IDW has a winning series on their hands and have hit the ground running.

On the flip side, I am dreading the August release of the GI Joe movie. Initially, I was optimistically reserved until I saw that there was a Wayans brother in the movie. Marlon Wayans to be exact. The same Wayans that starred in the vomit inducing Dungeons & Dragons “movie.” Someone still owes me 107 minutes of my life back for that.

Thank you Normalinauts for taking the time to read this. Hopefully, I’ll be allowed back. If I am, perhaps I’ll look at reviewing the 4th edition of D&D or the revised Star Wars RPG and get Kilian to regale you with a tale of, “Goon Squad.”

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along blog — A Man’s Gotta Do

So there you go, folks. The first official NR review. Thanks go to Tengu.