Dear Hollywood,

I know that I haven’t been around lately. I’ve only seen like four movies in a theatre over the last year. I’m sorry about that. I know I used to visit a theatre at least once (often twice) a week, and watch a lot of DVD’s. But, you know, grad school, the kid, work…it’s all a bit much and I just don’t have the free time like I used to. I am trying to get better though, honest. And now that we’ve taken the kid to see her first movie in a theatre, I’m sure we’ll start seeing more of each other in the near future.

And since we are getting toward the summer season, there are a few films that I’m going to definitely try and see at the theatre. But then today I read this article from the LA Times.

And Frank Miller (living demi-god that he is) is totally right. It is WAY more fun to read a comic then a movie script. And I get that comics make a pretty nice adaptation, film wise, as they work as a script and storyboard in one. But please, for the love of god, stop already!

Yes, there has been some success in comic to film adaptations. And I don’t mean monetary success. The X-Men films made three barn sized piles of cash, but guess what…they weren’t good. Really. No, I’m serious. They were bad. Bad, bad. And the second Spider Man was pretty solid (except for that whole “it’s fusion we can’t stop it…oh wait, the river” ending…I mean, SERIOUSLY?). In the interest of full disclosure I’ll just say it, I didn’t see number 3. I couldn’t. Look, any universe in which Spider Man gets his black suit, but does not do so as part of a secret “war” between Marvel heroes and villains on a distant alien planet is no universe I wish to have any contact with…

I realize that last statement paints me as nothing other then a hardcore geek. I’m fine with that. I can accept my lot in life. It’s just that, I think a lot of other geeks might feel the same way. Was it cool to see Spidey up on the big screen in all his web-slinging glory. Of course. Was it worth sitting through the bad and then horrible Batman, and then having to endure the ensuing dark years, to finally get to the greatest film incarnation of the Caped Crusader (so far)…barely.

What I’m asking here is, when is enough, enough? You know, I’ve never been big on the Fantastic Four. Don’t no why, just was never my thing. But Dr. Doom is the shit…and you nearly killed that character…I mean, totally crushed him into non-existence did he suck so bad!

I’m willing to give Iron Man a shot if for no other reason than Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark is, at the same time, both inspired and typecasting…which is not something you get everyday.

But after that…and, you know…can’t we let it rest for a while?

OK, Watchmen has to come out at this point. I mean, I’m guardedly optimistic. V for Vendetta was actually pretty good…although, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was possibly the worst thing I’ve seen since Wild Wild West…no I take that back, at least Wild Wild West had Salma Hayek in some underwear in one scene…

And alright! Please finish Y the Last Man…but that’s it!

Please Hollywood, stop the abuse. We, the geek community, are just the same nerdy, socially inept guy we were back in high school. And yeah, we’ll still do your physics homework, because you’re cute, and blonde and have big boobs. But it isn’t right, and it isn’t fair. Go and find some other group’s collective dreams and loves to exploit for a while. Please!

Love,
kilian

Rancid - Listed MIA

Tags: Comic Book Films - Both Awesome and Horrible, Geek Abuse

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 24th, 2008 at 10:01 am and is filed under An Open Letter to..., Post. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.