An Open Letter to Tina Fey

March 19th, 2008

Dear Tina,

This is the second time in two days that I have written one of these letters. Yesterday, I read that Parker Posey had made some disparaging remarks about Judd Apatow, and I felt compelled to respond (though it is doubtful Ms. Parker, or anyone for that matter, gives a rat’s ass about said response…).

And today I read that you have similarly disparaged John Stewart:

Fey tells Reader’s Digest she prefers it when audience members laugh rather than applaud because, “You can prompt applause with a sign.” She added, “My friend Seth Meyers coined the term ‘clapter,’ which is when you do a political joke and people go, ‘Woo-hoo.’ It means they sort of approve but didn’t really like it that much. You hear a lot of that on [whispers] ‘The Daily Show.’ ”

Now I’m willing to admit that you were pretty enjoyable as co-anchor on Weekend Update. I am also willing to admit that, despite all of my innate sense of what is right and good, Mean Girls is very good film.

But I have to ask…how far up your anal cavity have you shoved your ego inflated head, you stupid cow?

Seriously!

Last time I checked, John Stewart’s worst bits on The Daily Show were 10 times funnier than anything you ever did on SNL. And while we’re on the subject of SNL, how, exactly, did it feel to be the head writer during a time when, pretty much everyone and their mother, agreed that the show was a mere shell of its once glorious self?

I think I’ve watched about 10 total minutes of 30 Rock since it has been on, so maybe I’m talking out of my ass here, but it seems to me that it wants to be a good 30 minute long comedy (Flight of the Conchords, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and 10 Items or Less come to mind), but it can’t. Maybe it’s you, and maybe it isn’t but I have to seriously question anyone who questions John Stewart’s ability to make an audience laugh.

Oh, and by the way, quoting Seth Myers as some kind of “comedic expert” is like going to Dr. Seuss for medical advice.

Now I’m willing to admit that maybe this whole thing was taken out of context. It is certainly hard to read a satiric remark in print and understand its full meaning. And we are talking about a quote showing up on the New York Post…so skepticism of the source is an issue. But I get the sense, from other interviews of yours that I’ve seen and read, that you believe yourself to be one of the funniest people in America.

Guess what?

You’re not!

But John Stewart is…so kindly shut your stupid pie hole!

Love,