John Stewart
Steven Colbert

And thus our country would be saved and the multiverse would see fit to unleash French Bulldog puppies riding the backs of unicorns and everyone could have one. The world would be a better place.

I’m not very political myself, but I’ll say I don’t think Obama has enough experience and that if Hillary really wants to sell the product, as it were, she needs to find a second and possibly third alternate facial expression. As Democratic as I am, I actually sort of like McCain because he’s not afraid of doing his own thing, no matter how un-Republican it is.

Mostly I just want the stupid and pointless war to end, for old people and kids to get the health care they deserve, and for someone to end the stem-cell question one way or another.

Oh. I also want a pony.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

As for the whole ubre party I don’t see it happening with either of the two parties merging. Lets face it calling a Democrat a conservative Republican is pretty close to calling them the devil, and it goes the other way as well. I could however see libertarians absorbing said parties to form the Ubre party of doom.

On the Dems side I’m kinda Okay with Obama, and Edwards which is at odds with my fascist nature, and I really dispise the current Pubs nominations. Which again leads me to which candidate do I hate the least. Which not very shockingly is John Stewart who I regularly enjoy watching.

Moore made some good points but 85% of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is usually conservative hating propoganda. Which is one thing that really pushes my button. Its not like he doesn’t have points but he lays out his opinions as facts.

There really could not be a worse candidate in my opinion than Hillary. I know a lot of people like her because she is A) a woman B) for the little guy C )married to Bill. I’m not saying he isn’t qualified to do the job but its more of a trust issue with her. Even Moore nailed a few of the hundred or so actions that I really find disconcerting. Where I don’t think she has a chance is the number of people who hate her for being a) a woman b) Bill’s wife c) not a man d) a big C lap dog. Its more to the point of there are a boat load of nuts out there for the first three little reasons which have less impact on her to being able to the job compared to actually political reasoning.

Obama for the same reasons as Moore mentioned worries me. BUT unlike the other nominations he is closer to being more of the middle road than the others(Dems side). He isn’t lets kick the big guys out of the government. Which can be a problem depending on which side of the boat you are on. While he in fact does support the troops in oversea deployments he also wants to pull them back but isn’t going withdraw them until the area is secure. I see his point of view it has more to do with saving international face, and trying to maintain THAT region in a semi decent state. We’re there, not much we can do about that now. Unless you want the middle east to totally go to pot. His stand on this is one point of contention for some poeple, and I’m not saying he has the best plan but there are other factors in military deployments. Like Hillary he does have an uphill battle from being part of a minority. For some reason poor AA’s really dislike AA’s who have made a decent amount of money, and then the same nuts who hate Hillary for being a woman will likely come out of the woodwork against him as well.

Finally we get to my final guess who will be up on the Dems side: Edwards. He is that southern soulman. Sure, its one thing to go against the Big corps but you have to remember that the US economy is pushed along by corperations who want to make money. Killing them will hurt the US economy there is just no way around that. He seems too much like and Idealist without thinking about some of the consequences. I’m not saying we shouldn’t do some real trust busting. The last 16 years has just been plain dumb with the number of monoplies that have been born, and grown. Back on track, eight years ago he wasn’t that against getting money from the big guys. It goes to show how some politicians change over the course of their lives. In theory his health care plan does look the best of all the health care reforms currently on the table. Edwards has the best change of not getting the nuts to come out of nowhere just becase he isn’t a woman, or black.

Unfortunately, I have issues with these three for the same reasons. Like should we say okay, and forgive everyone who took too many loans, and couldn’t pay them? Hell no!! If you’re old enough to get a loan it means your an adult, and you shouldn’t be begging the Government to get you out of a jam like your parents did when you were five. The government isn’t our parents its there to protect us from the big bad companies, making sure goods that are available to the public are safe, and international threats. End of story. It isn’t here to make sure we didn’t blow all our money on candy so we don’t have anything left when we want to relax, and do nothing. Its a mistake that we should have to deal with, and not our neighbors who put some money away for a rainy day.

I could go on but I don’t like to rant.

Which leaves me with the following order for possible votes:

John Stewart
Steven Colbert
Obama
Edwards

Hold on Hlllary isn’t some kind of killer Nazi-robot? Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things!

For those what care, I’m actually a Libertarian, and no that does not mean that I’m automatically up for embibing the Ron Paul kool-aid, I have some fundamental disagreements with the man and his Dr. Jekyll persona of Libertine and neo-con.

As for the party with the only mascot featured in a Mexican stage-trans-species-sex-show, I’ve lived in a socialist country for long enough to know that anything even remotely approaching such a tact is not going to be good in the long run.

But then again, don’t look at me for your political views, I think I might be throwing myself into the lead for NR crazy person with the pointy hat by admitting that I love the DisInformation Company, and watching both Zeitgeist and EndGame has only inspired me to (paradoxically to my presence here) stay off the radar from our Orwellian Masters…

But enough from the local crazy — what say ye’ good folk of NR???