Hotdamn! But lookie-at-us-Normality Restored folk, 3 posts in one single day! Hath the Orange Curtai finally frozen over? No, but this should be a sign of excellent things to come in our future. Things like regular posts filled to brimming with content. To full brimming I say. Full!

Since everything works better with visuals, I think it’s time that we brought back an update for the Normality Restored Hooligan Futbol League. Here’s the current scorecard between the 2 major powerhouses of the league (as provided from the official League standings), especially considering that these are the clubs that Kilian and myself are following.

Because too much gloating may come off as being unseemly… I will simply direct everyone to the little words at the bottom of the picture above… the words labeled as ‘points’. From here, all that I ask, is that you look directly to the numbers left of these ‘points’. I am sure that from this junction there is no reason to impress more gloating, everyone can see what needs to be seen ^__^.

–Aleister

You’d think…I mean, really, you’d think that the literary executor for Norman Mailer wouldn’t be A) a moron, or B) a total asshat. But when you make a statement like, “Vonnegut was the American Mark Twain,” there are very few ways to adequately describe what a complete and total retard you are.

Of course, he might have really said that “Vonnegut was the modern Mark Twain,” and he was merely misquoted. But then that means that the Washington Post is employing reporters who are so lacking in mental faculties that they will type out a statement like that above and not think that, possibly, it was a misquote…

Mostly the article is a discussion of reasons for Vonnegut’s greater sales record, particularly in the near past, than Mailer or William Styron. And the reasoning is fairly valid; Vonnegut was always seen as a little more “counter” than the other two (he never did win a Pulitzer), his books were by and large much smaller in length, and the general tone of his writing was more conversational.

Let me say that, on some level, I agree with those claims.

But by making them in the way he did, the writer is also saying that Vonnegut’s greater sales couldn’t be that he was, you know, the best writer of the bunch. God forbid a science fiction writer actually be better at the craft than a “literary” type.

God damnit! I’m getting more upset the more I type…fuck you Washington Post!

But even worse than the Washington Post and their backhanded dig at Vonnegut is Dana Gioia’s (head of the National Endowment for the Arts, a group that is simultaneously very important and also full of its own shit( comment…

“First of all, Vonnegut’s funny, and humor has a broad appeal,” Gioia says. “Secondly, he worked in genres like science fiction and political satire that have an enormous appeal to boys, and boys are the ones usually reading Mailer and Vonnegut and those authors. … Vonnegut was a very open and inviting author, less conspicuously literary than Mailer or Styron, although clearly a fine writer in his own way.”

Clearly a fine writer in his own way…

What the hell is that? Obviously, if a writer uses humor, science fiction, satire, and actually tries to connect with his readers (as opposed to, say, condescend to them) then he can’t be taken as seriously as someone like Norman Mailer.

If you’ve been reading the site regularly, or if you are familiar with the previous iteration of my on-line persona, then you are aware that, by and large, I am not the sentimental type.

But this time of year necessarily leads one to get a little sentimental.

And I really try to not be that type of parent.  You know, the one that won’t shut the F up about his kid.  Man is that guy annoying.

What I’ve discovered in my near year and 1/2 of parenthood, though, is that the reason that asshole WON’T shut his stupid mouth is because he can’t, literally.  I’m of the opinion that once your first child is born, your DNA mutates in some way so that a majority of your brain usage is now re-routed to thoughts of your child.  These can range from love, to worry, to amusement, to frustration and everything in between.  But the common denominator is always the kid.

There’s a reason why people newly initiated into the ranks of “parent” often (not always) find they spend more time with their parent friends.  You can be the most empathetic person in the world, but if you’ve never had a child, then you just do not understand what it is like.  Now, for all you non-child-havers out there, that might sound like an excuse.  Certainly, it is your right to think that.  But in my experience, there really are a few experiences that just cannot be understood unless you experience them.

Case in point, when I was 11 my mother passed away.  All the sympathy in the world does nothing to help a person understand exactly what it is like to lose a mother.

Damn, it just got serious in here!  Sorry about that…

Anyway, my point with all this is that, on some level, I have a need to talk about my daughter and unless you have a kid yourself, you probably don’t understand.

But I really don’t want you all to think that I’m only going to talk about my kid here, but with Thanksgiving being tomorrow and all, what I’m most thankful for is my family.

Besides, I think we can all agree that, across the long history of the human race, there have been very few toddler’s as cute as my daughter…

And she’s a super genius.

So, what are you all thankful for?

Well, today saw the England national squad, playing in front of 90,000 at the new Wembley, fall 3-2 to Crotia. And thanks in part to Russia securing a 1-0 victory over a hapless Andorra, the Three Lions will now miss out on Euro 08.

I’ve previously stated on these very pages that Steve McClaren must be secretly plotting against me. But now, not only has he pissed me off, but he’s no doubt earned the ire of an entire nation. And not just any nation, but the one that invented hooliganism. So, you best run for cover Stevie, cause I’d put 20 bucks on you getting beaten with a lead pipe by an unnamed assailant in the very near future.

Sure, Sven wasn’t exactly great, but at least he got the boys into the tournaments before leading them to a total collapse…