Archive for November, 2007
C.R.U.S.T. Part I
4So here is the as promised follow up (or at least the next stage in the continuing follow up) to last week’s Black Friday strip. I think this mini-serial will be running for another segment or two, and the next one should be back up on Friday, next week. See, we’re even posting comics on Fridays like we’re supposed to, why, ’cause we’z all awesome like that and shit, as I heard some youths exclaim… recently…
And on with the show:
(as always click the image to make it big enough to read)
So that’s it for me. I think Kilian might have a few more things to say about this one, since he wrote it… as for my contribution, I added the blood-splatter ^__^.
–Aleister
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Whoa is that a lot of splatter! Though I think the amount of splatter works well with the thoroughly unimpassioned expression of Kilian’s…one that I have had often, when toiling along in the mine of books. Also, I have to once again commend Gilgrim on the background. My visual input isn’t exactly non-existent, but he’s really making wine out of rat pellets. I’m not sure I have much more to say about this ACT II, as we’re in the middle of an actual story here…especially since I know where it’s going.
I am in a state of semi-fevered anticipation to see what Gilgrim is going to do with the final installments, though I’m pretty much like that for every strip. The site has become, if not quite a habit, certainly no longer a “chore” (at least for me, maybe Gilgrim feels otherwise). And it’s a little odd to think that this is now just another part of my existence, and it will remain to be so for as long as possible. We may only ever have you six loyal readers, which is fine, because this is the first “thing” I’ve done that’s actually out in the world for anyone to see, and it’s feeling a little surreal…but in a good way.

Perhaps the children in this country are smarter than we think…
1And I say this because the children of this country have voted that both Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears should top Santa’s naughty list. Now, sure it would have been much sweeter if, say, they had voted the president to the top, but this is a nice choice on the part of our nation’s kids.
Brittney, as you might know, seems to not care about actually raising her kids, or even showing up to court.
And Paris Hilton is just…well…you know…

But where will good, honest, hard-working people vomit, I ask you?
1For a major metropolitan area, San Francisco is quaint in a lot of ways. One such way is the fact that it is very difficult to find food after the bars close. I’ve only been to New York once, but Manhattan seemed to have no problems delivering mediocre quality food to me during the wee hours of the morning. But if you’re drinking in, say, the Sunset and you want something to eat at 3 am, you might have to trek your ass over to the god-damn Marina just to get some Jack in the Box.
North Beach, however, has long been a bastion of multiple late night eateries that specialize in pizza. North Beach is also a bastion of pretentious literary landmarks, strip clubs, and ridiculously crowded breakfast places, but I digress…
So now The City is apparently considering a proposal to force all business, including the pizza places along Broadway, to close at 2 am.
So there was this one weekend when the wife (then, the girlfriend) was out of town for work. It just so happened that one of the guys from my soccer team was also “off-duty” as he called it, because his girl was back in Texas visiting her family.
So, of course, it was decided that we were going to get drunk. Steve came over and we went to get dinner at The Sausage Factory (and don’t bother pointing out the ridiculous irony that there is a restaurant called “The Sausage Factory” in the heart of the Castro…) before heading off to North Beach to meet up with some of the other guys from our team.
I think I had a beer with our meal.
I know that when we got to the first bar, I had two (more?) beers. This first place was pretty nice, but located in an alley, for some reason. We didn’t stay there long and headed off to another bar a few doors down. Once here, Steve says something like, let’s do shots. I’m pretty sure I convinced him to do a round of Jaegermeister, because that’s one of the few hard alcohols I can tolerate in shot form. So at this point I’m pretty buzzed and Steve says let’s do another shot, but something different than Jaeger. I was probably open to suggestion at this point because I only half-heartedly opposed, even when Steve ordered Wild Turkey…
And the next morning I woke up somewhere that I didn’t know…
Luckily, it turned out to be Steve’s apartment. My recollections of a majority of that night are so insubstantial that the term hazy would be a gross exaggeration.
I know at one point I had my arms around one of my teammates and was saying something like, “I love this team!”
I was told, though I don’t remember, that I threw up in the middle of a crowd outside a pizzeria at 2:30 am.

So what I’m asking is, if San Francisco shuts down the North Beach pizzerias at 2 am, what will drunken amateur footballers do with themselves when they are so drunk that they can’t stand on their own accord?

It’s not really a present, per say, if I already know what it is, so just let me have it now
1Yesterday, the wife and I had a phone conversation that went something like this:
Wife: When does that Bender movie come out?
She was referring, of course, to Bender’s Big Score, which is what I covet, at this moment, above anything else in the world.
Me: It came out today.
W: I didn’t see it at Costco when I was there.
M: Maybe they’re not carrying it, but I’m pretty sure it came out today.
W: Oh, yeah I’m looking at Amazon. It is out today.
M: That’s the only thing I want for Christmas. I don’t want you to spend a bunch of money on me and I don’t want anything else.
W: Should I just order it right now? It’s pretty cheap.
M: Unless you buy something else, you’ll have to pay for shipping. It’s probably going to cost the same at Target.
W: Alright, I’ll check there then.
M: OK, since I already know you’re getting that for me, can I just have it when you buy it?
W: What?! No.
M: Then I have to wait a month to watch it, and I already know that it’s my present.
W: Too bad.
As far as I’m concerned, that’s damn cold! I mean, seriously, what does she want? Is some feigned expression of surprise as I unwrap the DVD shaped present on December 25th really worth making me wait an entire month to watch the freakin’ thing.
In a related note, it has come to my attention that Bender’s Big Score is the first in a series of four, feature length, direct to DVD releases to feature the fearless crew of Planet Express, and each one is part of a greater story-arc. Apparently, once the four DVD’s are out, they will get chopped up into 16 half-hour episodes and shown on Comedy Central.

I have seen the future, and I am scared…some
12It’s been some time in coming, but the burgeoning digital revolution as pertains to the written word is now fully upon us. We’ve seen the forerunners, to be sure, but Amazon has now released what I can only describe as the new benchmark in digital text transmission, The Kindle. Sony, of course, is trying its best to compete, with an updated reading device of its own.
There are differences between the two, and those differences may or may not be significant. That delineation ultimately, I think, will rest in the hands of each consumer as he (or she) decides what is of utmost importance.
The main differences, initially, are that the Sony Reader can play mp3′s and view PDF’s, while the Kindle does neither of those. The Kindle, however, is wirelessly synced to a “virtual” bookstore and that connectivity is always on, and you never pay for it. To get e-books to the Reader, you have to connect through a portal similar to ITunes and download them to your computer before transferring to the Reader.
Each allows access to blogs and newspapers. I’m sure there are some minor differences here, but I doubt they are of much significance. The size and weight dimensions are essentially the same, though the Kindle boasts a “keyboard” with many more keys.
Ultimately, what concerns me is not that these devices exist. To be honest, I have decided that I really want a Kindle…or I want one for a month to test drive (now if only I was a critically acclaimed best selling author…). Nevertheless, I am concerned about where this may lead.
As you all know, I hope one day to make a meager living as a writer. I’ve spent a number of years retailing books, and I’m pursuing both an MA in English and MFA in Creative Writing. Words are less something I’m concerned with, and more a considerable part of how I define myself. And so, I think I cannot be faulted too greatly for being concerned with how these devices will impact the way in which reading (and more importantly, in my mind) and writing are digested and created in our society.
I can already hear your rebuttal…something along the lines of, what about the IPod? As much as the record companies want you to believe otherwise, digital music has, in many ways, been very good for the music industry. Sure, the recording industry hasn’t yet figured out how to really deal with people who download music illegally (though, I might humbly suggest not suing housewives for hundreds of thousands of dollars as, you know, a gesture of good will…), but eventually the corporations will embrace the technology, instead of trying to prevent it and most everyone on both sides will be happy (I say most because, someone, somewhere will want to steal just for the fun of it…).
The fundamental difference, I think, is that music hasn’t really ever had a set mode of transmission. In my lifetime I have owned (or my family has, when I was just a nipper) record players, cassette players, 8-track players, CD players, and digital players (I love you WinAmp!) . Other than issues with convenience, there really isn’t much difference between the different medias. Unless you’re a total nutjob and have thousands of dollars, a CD isn’t all that better than a cassette, than a record (and some would argue that analog sound BETTER for certain types of music), etc. Don’t get me wrong, I love music. I have just under 200 hours of music on my laptop, and that’s about half the total CD’s laying around my house, not counting classical (of which, I have an assload thanks to years of free promos…). But when it comes right down to it, the specific player I am utilizing at any given time is of little importance to me.
Such can not be said about the written word, but more specifically about books. It’s been 600 years since there’s been any real innovation when it comes to transmitting the written word. Sure, newspapers and magazines are not the same as books, but they are produced in similar manners, and they present a tactile experience on par with books.
A book is something that you necessarily interact with. In his endorsement of Amazon’s product, Neil Gaiman (not a man I usually disagree with) states that it makes no difference to him whether he is flipping a page or clicking a button, and that the device is so intuitive that you hardly notice the difference. I haven’t used it, obviously, but I find this a bit disingenuous. Maybe I’m a poor reader, but I often find myself flipping back through pages of a book to revisit passages from earlier after I’ve come across something intriguing or important later on. I don’t think any flat screened device, no matter how intuitive, can make that particularly easy. And on a similar point, I can’t be the only person to write notes in margins or underline important passages…
I’m also quite curious to see how digital transmission of writing will affect poetry. I’ve waxed philosophic on a similar topic in the past, but the impact of digitized content seriously concerns me in regards to a form of art that can have as much depth visually as it does linguistically.
On some level, I realize all of this stems from the fact that I have the soul of a 60 year old. I like my personal library (no matter how much it annoys my wife). It’s taken me, literally, years to collect all the books that I have, and there is something very unsettling about thinking that one day, all of it could be stored within a device that fits easily in a small bag. I really do believe that digitizing the written word will, in some way, degrade the regard we have for it. Book reading is on the decline, and I have a suspicion that these devices might inadvertently contribute to this even more, what with there online newspaper and “blog” reading functionality.
Of course, I could be wrong. Maybe people will get enthused about fiction once it’s so easily accessible, but at a the current price tag of around 400 bones, I seriously doubt it.

In honor of all retail workers on this, the blackest day of the year
6While I have, what I like to call, a “real” job. I have spent many a holiday variously toiling in a retail or theatre environ. In fact, I still ply my customer service skillz once a week at the ol’ bookmines and will do so again tomorrow morning in the AM. So even though I am currently sitting in a coffee house drinking an iced latte and haven’t even set foot in a single store today, I do feel all your pain.
This strip is our first attempt at a “storyline.” If memory serves, this is part 1 of a 4 part series, and I think you’ll enjoy where the story takes you (or, at least I enjoy it).
The art might be the best that Gilgrim’s produced so far for Normality Restored. Astute viewers will notice that in the last few, he’s been experimenting with “camera” angles, and even though this a bit of a static strip (like the last one), the final panel is a great example of what I’m talking. Also, the background made me feel all fluttery in my special places. It’s just that awesome!
And while the following strip is a dramatization, the events in the last panel may or may not have occurred, I can assure you that the phone conversation is an almost exact reproduction of one that I had about a year ago. One other point before you get the strippy goodness, it would make me feel a lot better if you imagined a really old woman’s voice on the other side of the phone…
(as always, click image to make it larger)

Only a matter of time…
0Well, today saw the England national squad, playing in front of 90,000 at the new Wembley, fall 3-2 to Crotia. And thanks in part to Russia securing a 1-0 victory over a hapless Andorra, the Three Lions will now miss out on Euro 08.
I’ve previously stated on these very pages that Steve McClaren must be secretly plotting against me. But now, not only has he pissed me off, but he’s no doubt earned the ire of an entire nation. And not just any nation, but the one that invented hooliganism. So, you best run for cover Stevie, cause I’d put 20 bucks on you getting beaten with a lead pipe by an unnamed assailant in the very near future.

Sure, Sven wasn’t exactly great, but at least he got the boys into the tournaments before leading them to a total collapse…
